D's progressing well

After a much needed short break over the weekend, D had to go to school "all over again". Monday was bad. Really bad. But thankfully, things got better over the week - from crying all the way to school and upon seeing me again after class, to hardly any crying on the way to and no crying at all upon seeing me after class.

D was progressing well a little by little, day by day. I'm glad that that mommy had shared with me her story. I had prayed to the Lord on D's 4th day of school, asking for an answer (an obvious answer for I'm too dense to read His signs) on whether should I pull him out of school or let him stay on. The gracious Lord had given me the obvious answer through that kind mommy. Praise the Lord!

Weekend is here again. Hope this won't jeopardize the whole week's effort. Hang in there, D!

D's adapting well

D's big day was finally here. I was more excited than D about his first day of school. His first day went well on 3 Jan (2012). He hardly cried though he was looking around the unfamiliar surroundings for me. My heart sank as I watched my little lost boy from afar. The teacher gave us a school tour towards the end of the class and that was when D started crying. We entered a language room, kinda small and dimly-lit. D started crying since then til we headed home.

Thinking that D handled his first day pretty well, I left shortly after dropping him off, notifying his teacher that I would be back to join them for story-telling session. Much to my surprise, situation seemed to go downhill from there. Poor D was so terrified when I returned. His eyes were swollen from all the crying. Teacher's assistant told me that he had been crying on and off.

D really hated to go school... He put up quite a resistance about changing into his uniform and cried on the way to school. He cried even louder when we parted. Since 3rd day is the last day that I can be with him, I wanted to stay on til his class finishes. 45 minutes through the lesson, the principal came to me and reassured me that everything's gonna be fine, that I need to let go of D and let the teachers take over fully. Upon hearing that, I braced myself and let her carried D to his classroom while I waited at the hall. Through D's teary eyes, I could tell he was so glad to see me after his lesson ended. That night, he woke up a couple of times, scared, saying "daddy carry! daddy carry!". My heart shattered. D, our little sunshine, always so happy and smiley to other kids and strangers, resisted going to a mini socializing ground for little people? Mr Blockhead and I got worried and wondered it was too early to send him to preschool.

I thought of pulling him out, thinking of what happened that night. But after hearing a kind mommy's side of story, I've decided to give D a month's time to adapt.

D's going to school!

More time for food experimenting, more time for home cleanliness, more time for myself... All of that will soon become a reality as D goes to school next year, Jan 2012. Selfish thoughts aside, I'd like D to learn more too - from school, from teachers and friends. So... It's a win-win situation actually ^~^;;

Just a couple of items more (his school shoes and a handmade name tag by me) and we'll be ready to roll! :D

The One With Separation Anxiety - ME

We've talked about and tried training D to sleep in his cot since he was 15 months old. Back then, his cot was just right beside me. We would move him over to his cot after he fell asleep on our bed and he always climbed back to sleep with us without fail. We gave up eventually.

Sometime in August, we've discussed about it again. This time, to sleep-train him in his room. It has to be a day without interruptions (without my mom's presence, that is), a day that's after Mr. Blockhead's family visit. Hence, we've decided on 7 Sep 2011, Wed.

I was looking forward to this big day (night, actually). I had lots of mixed emotions, good and bad. When I was putting D to bed for his nap, I felt this extreme sadness welled up in me as I watched him drifted into sleep. All my fond memories of him blabbering, tossing, chuckling, rubbing his sleepy eyes went through my mind. The very thought of me missing these brought tears to my eyes.

What Hot Mama said is very true - It's all part of growing up and although letting go is hard, it's part of our growth as well. And also for us to remind ourselves that though they will start needing us lesser and lesser as they grow, our love for them will only deepen because we are doing what's best for them, rather than what's best for us.

I think I'd cry my heart out when D goes to army...

My Shiny New Toy

I can't believe it, it's here! Yes, my long-awaited oven! I think my neck might have grown 1.5in longer, after waiting for over a year for this baby. :D

Had an impromptu baking session at Hot Mama's place yesterday. We were supposed to churn out yummilicious double choc almond muffins, but they turned out to be rock-hard muffkies (muffin cookies)...

With such failure, I am determined to put my shiny new machine to good use, to rid off all muffkies! Mwahahahaha...

It'll be wonderful if D and Cutie can join in the baking. Imagine some flour on their tiny faces. How cute.

Rekindled love

I've found my long lost love last night, after much hesitation. I've been thinking long and hard - whether to replace the existing built-in oven's heating element; get a whole new built-in oven or just a stand-alone one. To replace the heating element costs $250 and I don't know its history (it was already there when we moved in). A cheapest, brand new built-in one costs $699 after discount (it's gonna burn a huge hole in my pocket). The stand-alone type is gonna take up all the space that's left in my already-packed tiny kitchen top. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

After some negotiations with Mr. Blockhead, we decided to head down to Kallang Leisure Park to check out the ovens again. The Great Singapore Sale is on anyway. True enough, there was a greater bargain! Another model, assembled in Italy, with similar specs as the quoted $699 Electrolux model, was on sale for $490! It's still early to tell if I've hit the jackpot though. It better be churning out good stuffs. I'm eagerly awaiting for its arrival on 2 Jun! Yay~ :D

Friday the 13th: Goodbye, My Love

Today marks the day - the day when I parted with my love, Fujifilm X100. It was a love-hate relationship. Not so much of hate though, but his slow start-up and focusing really got on my nerves. Our relationship was short-lived but well-spent together. We've only been together for a month, exactly one month. We met online. He was old-school and dashing. He was so charming, he swept my feet off the ground. The next thing I knew, I was swimming in the lake of love! Day and night, I was looking forward to hold him. The day came, 13th April, when I finally held him in my hands. He was sturdy and well-built, totally gorgeous... I thought we'd never part. But, alas!

The moment we parted, I knew there was no turning back. I felt a part of me was gone. Emptiness welled up inside of me now. He will be missed. He will forever live in my heart.

Moving on, Sony Alpha 35 seems like quite a good catch and Sony Nex C3 looks cool too. But deep down I know that X100's old-school charm is unsurpassed. Sigh. I think no amount of time given is enough for me to get over him... Nevertheless, I'll mark my calendar for the announcement of Sony's new releases (it's on 3rd June by the way). ;)

26 Apr 11

The mood's so different today. What meant as a pleasant surprise turned into a sad ceremony. We attended his uncle's funeral. I could see his aunt's sorrows under her smiles as she chatted with us and played with D. No masks can ever be thick enough to hide that. His two beautiful nieces... Their once twinkling eyes looked glassy and distant. Tears must have washed away their porcelain complexions too.

Depression had driven his uncle to take this path. I can never fathom these roots of complex situations. I've always yearned to move to Korea with my family. Yet, the Koreans always tell me that it's stressful to live here. Everyone is fighting hard to make a living. Market's saturated with graduates. Being armed with a degree doesn't guarantee one with a good paying job anymore. What will D's future be like if he lives in Korea?

I see my 'picture perfect' in a different light now.

25 Apr 11 - A Bittersweet Surprise

Although Mr. Blockhead live up to this nick, he can be sweet at times too. He had wanted to give his mom a surprise visit this time.

He called up his mom this morning to tell her that we're in Korea and would be going over in the afternoon. His manly tone turned worried and solemn as he went into the third line of conversation. His sobbing mom had told him that his uncle had committed suicide last Friday...

21 Apr 11 - THE DAY IS HERE

I was counting down to this day, but as the day draws closer, my much anticipated excitement morphed into worries.

Our flight time was 10:40pm, which was way past D's sleeping time. I thought perhaps he'll just get sooooo tired that he'll fall into a deep slumber til we touch down the next morning. I was so wrong...

He did fell asleep during take off. When the seat-belt sign was turned off, we thought he'd be more comfortable in the bassinet. Hence, we carefully moved him over. Bad move! He became so awake that he wanted to play and our countless attempts to put him back to sleep failed terribly. He cried and cried like there's no tomorrow.

The sleep battle lasted for hours - from 11pm to 3am. The 6-hour journey seemed like forever. I was so embarrassed and frustrated that I wished I could jump off the plane.

On second thoughts, poor D must have been suffering from over-tiredness. He had only 2.5 hours of nap time in the day and endured til we boarded the plane.

I'm so sorry, my darling angel...